Lifestyle upgrade: Fruit&Veggies

OK, today Friends I want to blog about something different FOOD! Yea I want to change my lifestyle... Everyone here says that when you come to the UK you gain weight well um not me sorry so I'm going fruit and veg and white meat and only once a month (or I will decide) something that is bad for me.... So I'm going shopping tomorrow so here is my plan....:

Nothing is forbidden! NOTHING! Cause if I make something forbidden I make me want it more....

Fruit and veg...

I'm not going vegan... Fish, Chicken still allowed but healthy fish and chicken...

Yogurt and fruit...

Salad in a million different ways with a light dressing...

and then I will see from there on... I know its only sorta healthy but for me its do-able and a start....

love...

PS missing him sooooo....

awwe I miss you....

Hi there people...

I am feeling so sad tonight and felt the same way yesterday evening think its because I'm alone with my thoughts and maybe all the soppy love songs I have been listening to....

I really, truly, madly miss him ohh so much its scary! I wouldn't normally feel like crying when I miss someone, well I feel like I want to cry its so frustrating!

Well I will try to cheer up I need to its dangerous to feel all lovey dovey emotional cause all common sense disappears its almost like being drunk and drunk text or drunk dialing someone, well lets call what could happen if i dont cheer up emotional/losing all senses text or dialing and I dont want that to happen ... trust trust declare declare lana!!!!

Good news no excellent news I am the guest blogger on the amazingly beautiful Debs blog, yay! I feel so honored Thanx Deb! Here is a link, please check it out http://debbiedoesraw.blogspot.com

Thanx loves...

xoxoxoxo

UK

Hi there,

So I have been in the UK a few days and I'm considering taking a live in nanny or aupair job, its gona be lonely but I need the money and I need to not do nothing. my laptop isnt repaired yet, I wil post more often when it is.........

Til then............

LoL

xoxoxo

Update: my life

Hi to all...

So I couldnt blog cause trying to set up the wireless internet my laptop got all messed up and doesnt want to work...

So I just want to update ya all I am in London!!!

At the airport at home it was so so so hard i cried we all cried my dad cried (I have never seen him cry) it was really hard but I pushed foward and did my best....

The flight sucked, I had to keep the tears in cause I was scared if I started crying that i wouldnt be able to stop... and the food uugghhhh!!! Gross!!!

Arriving was hell utter ubber HELL!
Traveling with all my stuff was hectic I was so exausted I have never felt so tierd and frustrated before...

I am now in a house with 4 woman and 1 man all alot older but all nice...

I made 2 new friends on arrival so that has helped alot...

Its been hard to stay positve cbut Im standing strong and trusting in God...

Just a update, I will post more when my laptop is fixed...

Love to ya all

xoxoxoxo

PS i heard from a special friend who is also here he called I was so releaved and happy after putting the phone down I couldnt help but start crying...

Me, myself and I...

Hey there people,

I am almost on my way bet everyone is sick of hearing bout England already! Well me kind of to, most of my stuff is just about done and we having a family bye bye dinner tonight and tomorrow we picking up my sis and a other few minor stuff to get sorted yay! Then I can take a breath till I get on the plane then when I arrive I will have lots to do again! Busy busy girl!

Well I just hope everything is sorted when I arrive I am so not in the mood for a crisis ughh but let’s have some faith…

I am preparing myself mentally to be quite lonely/alone at first cause I am not used to being alone (I have a rather large and loud family) but that will be ok, not that I prefer it but it will teach me how to be independent or at least how to do stuff on my own and by myself awe! I hate being alone!

So none of this has sunk in yet either I’m worried that I am so calm! That’s not how I want to be I want to be freaking out now! That doesn’t make any sense?? Oh but it does, I mean if I’m not freaking out now I will freak out at the airport or when I arrive and I don’t want to freak at the airport cause I don’t want people to see that and I don’t want to freak out when I arrive because there will be no time to.. So what to do now? I don’t know! I can’t make myself cry and scream ect ect (melodramatic)…

Well that’s all I got for now…

Love, love & a pinch of well LOVE!!
xoxoxox

All mixed up...

Hi there guys and girls…

Before I start I got to say thanks to some special people that I have never seen before but that have been so amazing the crazy sexies at CSL!! For all your comments and support and for taking me under your wings! Earth angels, there is no other name to explain you guys… And to Elaine, for setting me up with Ingrid and to Ingrid for taking the time to connect with a young girl who she has a lot in common with… Thanks guys!! I love you all so much!

And I got to say thanks to my mom, she is so amazing and loving and she always supports me and always understands me, I make a promise right now that I will always take care of her and be the best daughter I can be! I LOVE YOU MOMMY SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!!

And to the Lord I am now more convinced tan ever that I am on the right path for my life; although it will not be peachy I know He looks out for me. Things have fallen in place in mysterious ways and only Gods hand can do that… There is no such thing as coincidence!

Ok now for the post… I have been MIA these last few days because I am so busy with final arrangements… and still trying to sort out my luggage…

My agent is a lovely person but not such a good agent ugh! Most of the stuff that she was supposed to know and tell me I found out on my own. Come on people if you can’t do some research BEFORE you start a business do not start it! She is a lovely person don’t get me wrong but she isn’t so lovely to work with, she has a way of getting on ones nerves and getting you really frustrated but I have learned to put my foot down and be firm with her cause otherwise she would drive me nuts!

As for my emotional state well BLAH! Yea you got that BLAH! I kind of feel nothing and at the same time I feel guilty, sad, angry, scared, alone, grateful and excited. Doesn’t make sense I know!

But I am not to worried (or I am, but not about my emotional mentality) cause I am sure reality will hit when I am finally there in the UK… reality is a b#@!% sneaks up on you.

So what’s there more to say? Well that I hope I can manage all my luggage and not give someone a knock out with it (if I swing my body around and someone is in the way, ouch for them!).

Love to ya all!

oxoxoxo

PS I will post all about my final moments leading up to the flight… Thursday 13:00 (I’m taking a flight to some weird place and then I get on another flight to London 14 hours, shew).

Big bags... Oh my goodness!

Hi there fancy folks,

So ever tried fitting in like 5 jeans/5 other type pants/10 tops (small though)/5 pairs of shoes/jerseys (thick ones)/tons more into ONE bag?!?!?

Well let me tell you it aint easy, it’s exhausting! Ok I know, I know I’m taking to much stuff but I can explain, most of the stuff is new clothes and there aint no way, no how I’m leaving my new clothes behind, ohh hell no! I got a thing for clothes and anything cute and classy… liken a big thing, I think some people might just classify it as a ummm, problem or maybe addiction…hmmm…

So last night me and my superstar mommy decided to start packing what a friggin disaster! I am not a big girl I am rather petite (average height) but I have a petite, girly body so we weren’t even finished packing and I said let me see if I can carry it (it’s a backpackers bag, so it goes on my back)… on it goes with a huge effort I might add…. OH MY FRIGGIN WORD!!!!! I FELL OVER!! I swear it was soooo heavy…. My mom laughed so hard (imagine: me with said body type, with this humongous bag on my back.) I could take someone out with it, just by turning around…sure might be funny to look at but not so funny to carry!! (Ok I laughed to, it was pretty hilarious)…and what about those thingies at the airport that you have to catch your bag on, on arrival?? How am I gonna get it off (that’s if they allow me on the plane)??? And on top of that I am clumsy to!!

So big problem!! With all this said I don’t even want to mention my hand luggage (my laptop ect ect)!!

What now?! Ok I will try and sort it out today maybe leave some stuff behind *serious sad face*…

Love love lovies…
xoxoxoxo

PS that friend i wrote about yesterday called me yesterday evening... weird cause we havent talked in forever ... thoughts=things AH HA!

All is fair in love&war... or is it?

Heya gorgeous folks…

So I started my day off with some meditation OOOMMMMMMMMMMMM & then prayer then declaring grateful/happy statements which I will continue after this post… See I need some serious guidance about something… But I believe I will know when the time is right…

Ok I woke up missing an old friend wont say names but he was always a real sweetie and secretly in love with me, see I never realized it (everyone else did) but I should’ve cause we were always together and he didn’t treat me like he did all our other friends… but you bet we always had a blast together I mean we laughed till our tummies hurt, we were partners in crime and all our teachers knew to not let us sit next to each other, although one did and I must say never quite learned anything in that class just jokes and silliness all around… I could’ve easily fallen for him to, had I known what I know now (he turned out a real hunk) but that’s not the only reason he was such a awesome guy, really but the reason I didn’t fall for him?........

Well is blonde, big blue eyed and has an AMAZING smile he has been mentioned in previous posts… no regrets with this one! Really he was something swept me off my feet when I expected it the least… Two totally different people from two totally different backgrounds, but that didn’t stop us heck no, we were something, friends couldn’t stop talking about us and how we managed to be so, honest and loving all the time (ok my friends have a bad rap with relationships so), we were like a golden couple… awwwe to the way I wrote him love letters and double awwwe to the effort he put into seeing me…. We had lots of pressure from tons of people to break up (we came from different walks of life) but we were strong about it we didn’t let it get to us we fought for us and later on people gave up trying to change our minds…

What a man he was and still is he knew how to handle me, see normally with men I always get my way (no I am not being dirty by that I mean I can do what I want they give me what I want) not with this guy he didn’t take any tantrums nope he didn’t give me what I wanted, always (of course he did sometimes), he gave me what mattered what I needed in a way I didn’t always understood but learned to adore… we turned out to be best of friends also the first person we turned to for love/support/bitching was each other, wow it wasn’t my plan to babble on about this it just started coming… but reading as I type and thinking about it, our story sounds like a love story… boy sweeps girl off her feet and rescues her (he was my escape from a hectic family life), girl and boy stand firm against forces trying to destroy them (a bit melodramatic), boy and girl turn to each other when all else fails… like an old love flame that could never quite burn out completely…

Oh I miss him, I really do no safer place for me that in his arms with him I felt safe in so many ways, when I was with him no one could hurt me, no putting on my fake smile and fake jokes he wouldn’t let anyone or thing hurt me or so I thought, I don’t know now…

Ok ha ha ha what a soppy, mushy post from me today… it really wasn’t my plan but it felt kinda good…

Love to all u guys&girls…
xoxoxoxo

Insanity?!

Hi there people…

If I don’t sound too happy chappy I am sorry but I’m stresses out big time!!!

Responsibility is staring me straight in the face!! Too many things to do!!

I found out my flying date…. YIKES/SHIT!!
Now I got so much to do and I’m freaking out about some family crap to… money what a drag… ok money can be fun to spend and all that but when you don’t have enough its hectic, now you got to know when I say hectic it must be hectic cause I am not a money lover, I normally don’t give a damn about it but right now I should care cause I got some serious stuff riding on it…

What can a person do? I don’t know….

Ugghhh I don’t even know where to being to tie up the lose ends before I am off…

Maybe the stress of the unknown is freaking me out cause I am normally a very calm and collected person… either way I am not sure all I know is I got to get stuff done ASAP!! I’m babbling on like a frigging mad person but my thoughts are all over the place at the moment… sorry…

Let me end this and try and centre my thoughts some prayer/meditation/soul searching sounds like the thing to do right about now…

Toodles with love…
xoxoxoxo

PS. I am happy and grateful……. ;)

Ever felt your heart break?

Hey there lovelies…

I got my visa….! I am not quite sure how I feel about it right now… maybe reality will hit me when I arrive, I don’t know… My visa is valid from 1 April so I will be flying between the 1st and 8th, yikes!! Ok but I don’t really want to get into that right now…

I am so tired of two faced/fake/suck ups! Today we had planned lunch with someone who claims to care for my mom and what not, but guess what they didn’t pitch!! Not even a phone call to explain, NOTHING! How lame is that!! And my mom really went all out! Except if something horrible happened (I pray not) there would be no excuse for doing that, it’s insensitive and plain rude! Lately it has felt like everyone or almost everyone has been backstabbing or rude to my mom! Pisses me off! People claim to be family and that they will help out well ummm asses that’s not what you do when you care about someone especially my mom she is always so good to everyone… Makes me so angry and sad at the same time because knowing that I have to go away and leave her with these people breaks my heart!!
But I will make sure I talk to her every single day and if they do it again they can be sure to get a piece of my mind… family or no family I will not allow my mom to be treated this way!
Common sense, decency and basic manners people!
It’s maybe just me or something, but when someone has been nothing but good to you, you do not treat them like crap no, no!!

I believe a good, compassionate heart will not fail you, its what this insane world needs more of right now!!
I mean anyone watched or read the news lately… morbid!! Men have turned into cowards and women are abandoning their children (not all men and woman of course!)… News needs to be reported but put some of the good stuff in to, good/positive/uplifting news… The fire of negativity does not need to be fuelled …

Ok enough negative babble from me…
I got a great tip/trick/call it what-you-want, the grateful & happy trick…
I have known this all along but only recently really stated applying it but it works…
Let me explain:
When I am scared that something will go wrong I ask God for help and repeat to myself the following: “I am so grateful and happy that –insert what I am afraid of- will go great/smoothly/blessed.” And believe me or not it works!!
Appreciation goes hand in hand with believing!!

Love to you all always…
PS. we need peace&love also...
xoxoxo

I believe in...

Hia again!!

Well I already wrote a post this morning but I feel that I got to blog again… ha ha ha

Ok so after this morning my head has been all over the place and I can’t get focused, that would be okay on any other day but seeing that I need to get assignments done it’s a huge no no… Ok so I stopped and tried doing some other stuff but with no success and it was only a list for the final things I have to go and buy but I couldn’t think of anything!! And believe me there are still some things I need…

Uggh I hate feeling so messy if you get what I’m saying… maybe I’m a bit of a control freak and when things are out of my control my mind rebels, ha ha ha ha …maybe hey?

So I thought maybe some creative therapy will help me so I’m going to write bout something I’ve been wanting to write about…

Things I believe in…moments I cherish and so on it goes lovely folks…

I believe that there is indeed a God and Jesus and all that I am a Christian…
I believe God is a good God and He wants to see us happy and living life…
I believe that every person has a guardian angel to watch over them…
I believe that the world would be a much better place if people used common sense…
I believe animals are people in fur/feathers/whatever, maybe not reptiles/fish and insects ha ha ha but dogs sure are…
I believe there is no stronger love then a love of a parent for his/her kids…
I believe that love isn’t always enough…
I believe that a man who hits/rapes/abuses a woman/child is a coward…
I believe that you can be and do anything if you put your mind to it…
I believe it’s better to feel pain than to not feel at all…
I believe that when a heart breaks it never heals completely…
I believe that if you love someone you should fight for them...
I believe when you want something bad enough you will not give up ever…
I believe faith can create miracles…
I believe everyone wants to be loved…
I believe there is good in everyone and if you wait long enough and you will see it…
I believe love is blind… sometimes deaf/stupid and stubborn to…
I believe love is in the details…
I believe that you should look at what a person is doing not saying…
I believe in soul mates and also that you can miss that person…
I believe you can change the world by starting with yourself…
I believe we all need someone…
I believe words are powerful…
I believe violence is barbaric…
I believe that a kind word can warm three winter months…
I believe that what we think will happen will…
I believe you can have it all in life (and I don’t mean all six woman/men you into)…
I believe dreams come true…
I believe that you don’t have to be a kid to sleep with a teddy bear or blanky…
I believe that prayer realises God’s power...
I believe when you give someone your heart you give them the power to destroy you…
I believe that there is more good than bed out there but the media only reports the bad…
I believe that love really can conquer all…
I believe true love never fails…
I believe when it concerns someone’s heart/life/emotions it isn’t fun and games…
I believe music has an impact on your soul…

I believe ther is no better place to be than in his arms...
I believe in following your heart…
I believe in happy endings…

Ohh my gosh...

Hey there sunshine…

Well I just came back from a walk… I do not normally go for walks but today I had to…
Ok you know when you get a call or text and you just know what it is going to be about or who it is… Well I was on the phone with my stunning mommy and I heard a beep… It was a text mgs and I just knew it was about my visa application… What did it say that I should go pick up my passport meaning my visa was ready and I’m sure it is approved meaning again that I could be on a plane to the UK by next week…? Ohhh shit!!
Ok I knew this was coming but, so soon?!? Ok I actually knew the so soon part to, but reality can hit you hard even when you have been expecting it…

And what about the stuff I need to get done?! Like umm telling my dad!!! Ok I know how the hell could I organize this without keeping him in the loop, well its complicated and now I regret not telling him all of this sooner but what’s done is indeed done so now I just pray that he supports me cause it would break my heart if I left on bad terms with him…

Ok just now while I was writing this the phone rang and it was my sister, I talked with her little girl and all of a sudden I got all teary, that little girl is like the light of my life, now I have been there since day 1 so thinking about not seeing her is like hell!!

So what’s going through my head now, numbness and twinkle, my mom and dad, my gran, my bro and sis, Landri, my home, my support system!!!

Do I wish I had taken the different root like sticking with my friends? No not at all, although I do sometimes wonder what it would’ve been like…

Ok so what now? I don’t know I’m just going to wait till tomorrow and see…

Doing what Cathie Black suggested in her book weighing up the risk… If all goes well I could gain a whole lot from this if all fails I could come back so, I’m going to go with the well one…

Love to you all…

xoxoxo